Log in

First Day of Vacation from Work!!! - yo, this is my world [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

First Day of Vacation from Work!!! [Jan. 27th, 2013|01:17 pm]
Yes indeed, it's Sunday and I get a whole week off from work with pay!!! Man I've been looking forward to this for weeks now...I've been getting burned out with the same thing same routine every day, so it was time to take a solid week off. Although it's not really a 'vacation' because this is one of the first vacations that I'm staying home not going anywhere or with any plans for recreation. I hate the word 'stay-cation,' but that's indeed what it is. I must say it's nice that right now it's 12:45 and I'm not on the road driving to work to close!!!!! Now I'm just wondering what to do with myself...I have a list of 'to-do' chores, but I don't want to do those. Damn this sounds like the last post I put up!! (And for those interested, which I'm sure is nobody, lol, I did decided to take a drive around. I went to Arvada and Wheat Ridge then through the factory area of Commerce City and treated myself to McDonalds before coming home. It was only like 3 hours, but it was enough) Justin came over last night after I was done with my shift at work so that was nice, but he had to leave this morning since it's his dad's birthday. I wish I could have spent more time with him, but like I told him, I'm not the center of his universe, nor would I expect to be. But I did ask him to reserve Friday night and all Saturday for me because I want to spend substantial time with him to cap off my vacation. I'm thinking we will go to Black Hawk and stay there overnight. Now the challenge is I can't spend much money at all! But just to be there in the scenery is enough for me. (and the fact we both enjoy penny slots only makes it a bonus, but again, not a lot of gambling can happen!!).
I guess the big point of my post is that I wish I had friends here. Honestly I do not have any. My friend Bernice and me have drifted apart and both of us are at fault for that. She was so fun to hang out with and I liked her husband too because he's a Conservative like me, but we just haven't maintained communication. I miss her, but being apart after months and then 'reconnecting' has gotten stale. I also have Adam who is still my friend. But over time the both of us have become more alike, yet different as well. We are alike because over the years he has settled down from a party-boy type (initially why I did not continue with the romantic relationship we began) to more homebody. I've liked that and gotten more in common with him. But much as I like that, he plays this computer game all the time so it's boring to go over there and just watch him play the game. Plus, honestly, his house is on a bad side of town and I don't like going over there for that reason and his roommate is a complete junkie/manwhore. Today he asked me if I wanted to go to the bar for beer bust but I'm not really a drinker anymore, it's spending money that needs to go for groceries and honestly I just don't like the bar. I still consider him a close acquaintance/friend, but we really don't see each other much to call us close friends. You know, it sounds like I'm just making excuses on and on. They are my reasons, though they come across as excuses. And finally, one guy Jason who I met around 2005...so we started a very extremely casual date relationship, well I wouldn't even call it that. But we'd meet, then not talk for months, meet up again, and repeat. I wanted to date him, but he didn't show interest so I wrote him off pretty much. Then I think in 2010 we touched base again just to talk and in fact, I went with him on Thanksgiving while he was patrolling the midnight sales (he's a cop). He was and still is with his boyfriend/husband, but we've always liked each other and, frankly, he's always wanted me. Now in his patrol car, he was not shy in mentioning it and I could have done anything I wanted and his boyfriend wouldn't have ever known. But though I was unattached and frankly wanted him as well, I thought about what I would think if my man was dogging me behind my back. So absolutely nothing happened. That's temptation at its peak, but I resisted it. No I don't believe in karma: I believe in morality and those are my personal morals. But afterward we started talking and texting more: I did not talk whorish-ly to him, but he did to me. He invited me over to their house, but to be with his man when me and Jason like each other, well that's just too weird. I never did go there. Finally he invited me to have a threesome with them. His boyfriend is cute, oh yes. But I'm not looking to fuck, to be blunt. Yes I was single when that invitation was offered and sure, if I said I wasn't tempted, I'd be lying. I'm a guy with hormones. But how can Jason invite me to hang out at their house, then weeks later say his boyfriend would entertain a threesome and things wouldn't just go back to hanging out casually as friends and buddies (if indeed it started that way, which between Jason and me, it did not)??? It's just too weird for me, so I can't do that. Plus, I don't think it's right to come between two people who 'love' each other (though when one person like Jason would even entertain cheating behind his boyfriend's back, I do not call that love.). Me and Jason have feelings for one another, then his boyfriend gets involved (were I to entertain that invitation), but really Jason is wanting me there for 1) the fact he gets 2 guys and 2) he gets an excuse to have me and 3)it opens the door for behind-the-boyfriend's-back cheating if I were to meet him privately. So I've written Jason off completely. I can't be 'friends' with someone who has a continued romantic interest in me. Adam and me are different, that part has been over for years and there's NO denying we are only friends. So really, I do not have close friends here in Colorado. My 2 friends are in Texas, Katye and Jeff. I miss them a lot and I'd see them fairly regularly if I was there. Someday maybe I will come back, who knows. I do wish I had more people here to know and hang out with.
Well that's my ramble of the day, so now I need to go and do something with my free Sunday! Michael