|About A Boy, Part 2: Our First Date
||[Jan. 23rd, 2013|08:33 pm]
Alright, I have a pot of coffee all brewed and a steaming cup next to me, so now I can type away!! Now getting back to where I left off, me and Justin have now been together 5 months and 2 days and I've never been happier. Picture it...Commerce City, July 2012 (this is how Sophia from the Golden Girls would tell this!). By this time, I had reached my rock bottom in terms of my finances collapsing, plus a month passing after I kicked out my live-in boyfriend. I was learning to once again live within my means and getting back to my 'real' personality and morality, not the person I sunk to over the previous years and especially the prior months. (All of this would have to be covered in quite a bit of detail, but since it doesn't have to do with meeting Justin, that's just the summary). Even though I made my error with the prior man, I knew that I couldn't just cower from meeting people. I learned my lessons, snapped back to reality, and was not desperate to meet anyone. I had to put myself out there to meet guys for friendship and perhaps a relationship. I was okay with just casually dating if the situation presented itself, but the overarching fact was that I needed to just advertise myself in the right away. So I placed my ad on several online sites, including the one where I have met many men, Plenty of Fish. Yes, quite the odd name and I think it's kind of lame, but it was popular and free, so thus many different men used the site. I did wind up talking to several guys and for the first time, I messaged men to inquire who they were, more information, etc (I'm shy online, I like getting messages and got many, but I'm usually not the 'initiator' when it comes to messaging men online). I had a good time doing it too, though I did't meet anyone from the site for a date. Well, one guy for a date, but he was living with his parents and not in a good situation in life (and had fucked up teeth too!). So no. Anyhow, one night I checked my mailbox on that site and I had several messages, among which were from a guy who seemed like a possible prospect. I'd been chatting with him a few times and he wanted to meet me for a date. Another was from a manager at the nightclub I formerly went to many times in my young 20s (but seeing the crowd he hung with and his career and his Facebook, he was discounted). Well while I was responding to one of these messages, I got a new message from a guy. Now you might think that I looked at his picture and thought 'Damn what a hottie.' But no, my initial reaction was 'He looks like a regular guy. Attractive, manly looking...hmm.' So I read his message: it was fairly matter of fact, kind of like the usual conversation starters one would send over an online profile site which said 'You seem like a real guy, which is refreshing. I really like your profile.' It wasn't put-on or fake, nor in its components were the words 'hot' or 'sexy' or anything that hinted he just wanted a piece! So immediately that got my attention. I wish I would have kept those messages! (But then again, he was just another guy out there, I couldn't have known it would turn into anything) Still it caught my attention that he was commenting on who I seemed to be and my personality, not on the appearance of my photo. Well wait, I think he made one comment, but it was just a nice compliment, not a gesture to jump his bones (which many sleazy guys would do). Anyhow I exchanged a few messages with him, nothing special, just a way to get to know him. I asked him to send me more pictures of him and, again, he just appeared to be an average regular guy. Honestly I'd think he was a straight blue-collar fix-stuff kind of guy. No he did not strike me as a model or some pretty-boy, but it was kind of refreshing. I have a wide variety of taste in men, but yes ultimately I want a manly masculine guy. A few days later, we agreed to talk on the phone and I could tell he was more a shy type. We just had a get-to-know-you conversation, pretty much covering more of what we spoke about in our messages. He was a nice guy and he sure sounded manly on that phone!!! Deep bass-like voice, oh man I gotta tell you, it was sexy as hell. Up until this point, I wasn't going gaga or trying to balloon him up into this awesome guy or anything, but hearing that voice was a turn-on! We started to text one another and then agreed to meet for a date on Saturday August 21, 2012 at 6:30pm. We were going to meet at the Northfield Mall in Denver just to find somewhere to sit and kick it and get to know one another. Yeah I admit, seeing the man in person attached to that sexy bass voice intrigued me, but I will be straight up and admit that I wasn't trying to get my hopes up. After the initial messages, he was the top man I was interested in getting to know and that only continued after our phone conversation. But desperation and false dreams got me into trouble before and I wasn't going to let myself get carried away again. My plan was to meet him, take it easy and casual and let the date flow naturally. I wasn't nervous, honestly I never have been for a date except for my very first one at 18. So I remember I pulled up next to his black pickup and looked at him for the first time. Well folks let me tell you, he looked MUCH better than his photos suggested. Great first impression...tall, thin, regular dress...nice. We shook hands and started to walk towards the mall area (it was an outdoor kind of mall). He was indeed a shy type, but what a stud I thought he was!!! I kind of took charge in a way and we ended up getting some ice cream at a Coldstone Creamery. It was a beautiful classic Colorado August day...nice and warm, the sun beginning to make its set down and just enough people milling about the mall but not where it was congested. Just a nice scenic setting in the middle of the city. We sat outside on the benches and there began nearly three hours of conversation! We shared about our hobbies, our jobs, our childhoods, our families and that sort of stuff. He shared some of his history like how he was kind of a partyboy in high school and a little bit of a troublemaker, but how that dissipated when he went to college. I remember he was candid and slowly opened up more...it wasn't like he was shy and stayed that way. I mean, 3 hours of conversation that naturally flowed!!! And no it wasn't constant, but when we were quiet, that was natural too and it wasn't an awkward pause of silence. He did comment on how good I looked in person...this guy really dug me! His smile was and is one of those shy, crooked, sincere ones...man I remember how cute it was!!!!!!! The sun set, night set in, a white guy and some black girls almost came to blows (yeah for real, it was amusing), and eventually at 930pm we decided to walk back to our cars. Now came the 'awkward' part of the date...how would we part? Would we just shake hands? Exchange a hug? Give a quick kiss perhaps? Honestly I thought about this the whole walk back. Yes I wanted to kiss him...I thought he was absolutely fantastic! He was the top guy I wanted to get to know and the night provided confirmation. He was beautiful inside and out (as far as my first impressions told me) and yes, I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to push it. Eventually we walked over slowly to our cars...we got closer...and then we were there. It was the time for one, both or none of us to make a move if we were going to do it...and you know what, the striking thing is that we both KNEW the other had this thought. We both wanted to hug or kiss, but BOTH OF US were too shy or unsure to make the actual forward move. What if we messed up a great date by going for it!? We just dragged out our goodbyes, loitered by our cars on the imaginary do-or-don't line in the sand, looking at each other smiling, me looking at the pavement, suspended in time. Then he came up to me and just kissed me passionately. I'm shivering in delight at this moment thinking of that instant in time!!! This shy guy made the first move and there we were under full moonlight kissing softly and passionately!!! WOW!!!!!!!!! Now that we were kissing, the ice was broken and fast melting as we were kissing, we did NOT want this moment to end. So as not to arouse the suspicion of the passing security guards traveling around the parking lot, we went into his pickup truck and, yes, made out for almost another hour. Nothing more happened than that and he made no move other than kissing. That was an incredible sign and very relieving that he did not try to round the bases with me (or, rather, see if I was willing as i was NOT). It was just an incredible end to a wonderful date. And folks, let me tell you, Justin is an incredible kisser. Soft and fast, oh it was like seeing fireworks in my eyes!!! Eventually it was late and we needed to leave, so yeah I was in heaven. We did text and he was absolutely in agreement that it was an incredible dates. In fact, our next date was the next day!!! Now that will be another long post because that is where something more significant took place (NO he did not get laid! I know that's what you were thinking). But I'll save that for another time.
Wow, so tonight is just like old times back in 2001, 2002 and the like...I'm writing a long post about significant events in my life while I'm listening to 102.1 The Edge, the rock station from Dallas. It's funny that I haven't kept writing in my journal all these years because I feel very content doing this, like I'm pouring out my heart to a friend. Though from how much I type, the journal won't tell me to shut the fuck up already, lol. It actually makes me think about Dallas and makes me miss it. I will always miss that city...I have history there, plus my two best friends Katye and Jeff are still there. But just being there, driving on US-75 Central Expressway and through McKinney and seeing the Dallas skyline, I don't know just makes me happy inside like I'm home. I guess I shouldn't be listening to 102.1 cause it makes me sentimental for times past. But who knows, someday I might live there again. And honestly, I love Colorado, but I would be happy to be back in Texas again.
Well I guess I should call it a night before I keep going to another subject and tell myself to shut up. Tomorrow I might make it 3 days and write another post!!! Michael